Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi - Movie Review

This is the absolute LAST time I get taken in by the hype. What a terrible movie. From the first scene itself I knew something was wrong. The gruesome riot completely silent....fuckall. The first thing that hits you about the film is the complete ineptness of the crew. All of them. The makeup artist, the cinematographer, the dialogue writer, the director, the editor, the actors. There. All of them did an utterly hamhanded job. The film looks more like a student diploma film than this so called "revolutionary" film by a Great Indian Director. The cinematography was appaling! No nuance, no composition. Terrible lighting. Yuck. The dialogue was atrocious, and delivered even worse by three total ham's. I mean the guy can't read a line properly in the voiceovers. Flub after flub afer flub. The editing was the only thing about the film that was authentic of the period i.e. abrupt cuts and jumps. Clumsy pacing. A monument to medicrity. The story itself is awful awful awful. Man, Sudhir Mishra's really disappointed on this one. I used to be a fan of his. I left in the interval. I wouldn't have if I hadn't got up to pee, but once I was outside the cinema I could think of no real reason to go back in and have my intelligence insulted for another hour. It strikes me as odd how someone as educated in the medium can make such a terrible movie. I read in some review that "But Chitrangada Singh, whose face draws inevitable comparisons to Smita Patil, is definitely someone to watch out for. She is a complete natural who zaps the camera with a passionate performance." Reminded me of Mira Nair comparing Rabbi to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. How can people be so fucking stupid? Also, the media somehow keeps calling this an internationally acclaimed film. Where, I want to know is the acclaim coming from. The media claims the film "won" the Fonds Sud and Montecinemaveritas awards but the truth is (as any google search will show) that the film was made with funding from these two agencies. It wasn't a prize, you lying bastards. Also, the hype about all the festivals it's been too. Well, let me tell you what else is playing at the DC Film Festival from India: Dil Se, Black, Raincoat, Morning Raga, Bawandar, Dev (yes, the Amitabh Bachchan one) Mughal-e-Azam and Choker Bali. Some fucking festival. Never ever trust the media, I tell you.

14 Comments:

Blogger chakding said...

hey catty patang,

if you had held on to your urine long enough, you might have appreciated the second 1/2 of HKA. may be the Urea in your bloodstream clouded your thinking.

What pains me about this new generation of arm chair movie critics like you is how you folks who have absolutely jeero knowledge of cinema sit in your boxer shorts in your grandma's basements and blog about pacing(!), cinematography, makeup(!!), lighting etc.

the gall of it!

6/07/2005 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger मनीष अग्रवाल said...

I think the movie is excellent. One needs a proper pair of eyes to see it.

6/25/2005 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger mudsonia said...

This guy is gonna have a tough time living in this world with such warped comprehension...I can't believe he wrote all that about one of the best movies to ever come out of india...dude,we're talking about "Hazaaron..." not "Hero No 1" right???

10/12/2005 04:07:00 PM  
Blogger benaam said...

This is a serious movie buddy...about ideology and faith, and some serious acting. I think you are of DDLJ, DTPH, KKHH, KKKG, ABCD, EFGH, HIJK..........kinda guy....probably you missed the initial item song, NRI cute hero/heroin trying to ape west.......nevermind you will take a lifetime to understand this stuff.

11/18/2005 06:33:00 PM  
Blogger Shiva said...

you're a fucking idiot.

12/14/2005 12:34:00 AM  
Blogger asavari said...

dude man you better go play with your patangs you cant do better....seriously you're prolly a big banners ass licker to write such immature things about one of the best movies of indian cinema....you missed the second half...you missed it all dude.....

1/30/2006 03:10:00 PM  
Blogger tanya said...

how can a pigheaded bull like you ever understand this movie. all you would like is a crap cheap porns. thats the kind of guy you are, asshole!!how could a person with so low intellectual level even exist---you are darn cheapo!!!

6/20/2006 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger memyselfandmyreview said...

hey guys i dont care weather some freak patangi dislikes some good stuff or not. it only makes me happy to know tht there r so many who appreciate good work.cheers to all of u Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi is excellent from start to the end.Good work by all and if i was the producer i wud chill out some extra money to the editor.

6/21/2006 04:54:00 AM  
Blogger No I Dont Have a Gun said...

what about the movie spiderman:2 or dhoom:2 or kavi alveeda na kehena... go, see those shits and write as many blogs as you want. or you can also choose any b rated films like "kumari dulhan" etc. or i'm giving you a job to review the daily episods of "kiwki saans vi kaavi bahu thi" in your blog. somebody may pay you for that too, who knows!!

11/01/2006 09:26:00 AM  
Blogger hi! said...

what a loser u are, must be a mithun da fan

11/27/2006 10:18:00 AM  
Blogger siddhartha said...

So now we have a self-styled educated movie critic ranting about finer aspects of movie making such as pacing,cinematography,makeup and lighting.

Please I would like to hear from u about the kind of movies you like & also care to mention the details such as lighting etc in your mail.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

7/05/2007 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger Rohan A said...

omg....and to think that ppl like you actually feel its worthwhile to have a blog...

Hey why not we have another of those usual rani mukherjee kinda love story movie...one of the many songs of which you can then whack off....

Fuckin empty headed wannabe idiot

7/15/2007 05:05:00 PM  
Blogger k said...

i love this page!!! :)
chutiya saala!!!

8/21/2008 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger Vedang said...

@patang
you're a fucking idiot.
HKA is one of the very very rare *original*, *genius* works that Bollywood has produced.

@hi
>>what a loser u are, must be a mithun da fan
not fair! mithun da aka prabhuji is part of some great cinema! have you seen "Gunda"?

10/16/2008 11:50:00 PM  

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